F*cking History: 111 Lessons You Should Have Learned in School [Paperback]

History that doesn't suck: Smart, crude, and hilariously relevant to modern life.

Those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it. Too bad it's usually boring as sh*t. Enter The Captain, the ultimate storyteller who brings history to life (and to your life) in this hilarious, intelligent, brutally honest, and crude compendium to events that happened before any of us were born.

The entries in this compulsively readable book bridge past and present with topics like getting ghosted, handling haters, and why dog owners rule (sorry, cat people). Along the way you'll get a glimpse of Edith Wharton's sex life, dating rituals in Ancient Greece, catfishing in 500 BC, medieval flirting techniques, and squad goals from Catherine the Great.

You'll learn why losing yourself in a relationship will make you crazy--like Joanna of Castile, who went from accomplished badass to Joanna the Mad after obsessing over a guy known as Philip the Handsome. You'll discover how Resting Bitch Face has been embraced throughout history (so wear it proudly). And you'll see why it's never a good idea to f*ck with powerful women--from pirate queens to diehard suffragettes to Cleo-f*cking-patra.

People in the past were just like us--so learn from life's losers and emulate the badasses. The Captain shows you how.The Captain is a writer, creator, and instigator.

GETTIN' GHOSTED

Few things in life will make you feel as dumb as getting ghosted. But you know what? Getting ghosted is a f*cking blessing. Because anybody who won't give you the courtesy of giving it to you straight is somebody you don't need in your life anyway. So if you get ghosted, keep doing your thing and make sure the person who ghosted you lives to absolutely f*cking regret it. Be like Edith Wharton.

By the year 1905, Edith had already made quite a name fol‘