Jewish as a Second Language: How to Worry, How to Interrupt, How to Say the Opposite of What You Mean [Paperback]

It's a NICE book.

Forget Yiddish. Real Jewish is a secret language of nuance, argument, and somersaults of everyday speech; of wins, losses, and draws in competitions you had no idea you'd entered. It's everything from mastering the OAQ (Obsessive Anal Question) - "They'll de-ice the wings before we take off, right?" - to never, ever believing your mother-in-law when she says "Don't bother driving me, I'll take a cab." Now in a second edition that's bigger, better, and with more guilt, this is the indispensable guide.
 

*Jewish Cooking(the first two hours of boiling a chicken are just to make sure it's dead)
*Jewish Eating(you should eat eight times a day if you're diabetic - or if you're not)
*The Art of Two-Person Worrying(Jewish Ping-Pong)

* The hotel-room-changing gene, the always-at-the-doctor gene, and other genes only Jews have
*Boxing gloves, a rottweiler, Pop-Tarts, and fourteen other things you'll never find in a Jewish home
*And so much more. (Why not?)

 

Molly Katz, author of humorous romance novels, psychological thrillers, and magazine and newspaper articles, is also a former stand-up comedian. She enjoys dancing, cooking, and traveling to places no sane person would go.

WHERE TO CONVERSE

Whether we're talking with friends, acquaintances, clerks, or total strangers, the most enjoyable Jewish conversations are impromptu. They occur in the following locations.

At the Supermarket. When you run into a friend here, of course you must catch up. Select a narrow aisle piled with cartons. Position your shopping basket so no one can get by. Feel free to chat as long and as loudly as you wish. Ignore the glares of other shoppers-they're just jealous of the good time you're having.

In a Department Store. The salesclels„