Sexual Bloopers: An Outrageous, Uncensored Collection of People's Most Embarrassing X-Rated Fumbles [Paperback]

Ever wish you could have yelled CUT! when the reality of the moment didn't quite live up to your wildest sexual expectations?
Ever look back on that less-than-erotic experience and think, Something like that could only have happened to me! ?
Well, here's the book that'll prove you were wrong, because when it comes to sexual misadventures, you're definitely not alone!Michele Horwitz is a cartoonist, editorial illustrator, and consultant. She is the author of Sexual Bloopers. CHAPTER I: THE BIRDS AND THE BEES: TALES FROM PUBERTY AND THE AGE OF INNOCENCE

A CAN IN THE HAND IS WORTH TWO IN THE BUSH

Carla, 47

I couldn't have been more than 10 when a new deodorant product, F.D.S., came on the market. Hoping to get women to try it, the manufacturer gave out samples in the store. My mother took one home and placed it in our medicine cabinet, right next to the aerosol can of Arrid. My older sister was 14; I noticedshehad begun using deodorant spray underherarms, just like our mom did. Wanting desperately to be grown up like them,Isecretly started using it, too. Underneath the large letters, FDS, were the wordsfeminine deodorant spray.I hadn't theslightestidea what that meant. As far as I could tell, it was just another brand of deodorant.

One day, my mother happened to catch me spraying the FDS under my arms. Taking the can from my hand and replacing it with the Arrid, she smiled and explained that the FDS was a special kind of deodorant, not meant for underarms. I looked at her, completely puzzled. Wheredoyou use it, then? I asked. Her answer was very straightforward: It's for a woman to spray on her pubic hair to keep it smelling fresh. I looked at her like she was out of her mind! Eeeuuu! I said as I strained to grasp her explanation. Who smells you downthere?

To this day, I get a private little chuckle every time my husband of 25 yel•