The Hypochondriac&39s Guide to Life. And Death. [Paperback]

When every hiccup sounds like the call of doom, each stomach pang hints at incipient cancer, and a headache means it's time to firm up your last will and testament,The Hypochondriac's Guide to Life. And Death.provides just the relief you need. Gene Weingarten has spent his whole life immersed in the eclectic details of bizarre symptoms, self-diagnosing every minor ache as a potentially deadly disease. Weingarten examines:

• The mind of a hypochondriac
• How your doctor can kill you
• Ulcers and other visceral fears
• The snaps, crackles, and pops of your body that spell disaster
• Things that can take an eye out
• Interpreting DocSpeak

Blending the neurotic anxieties of Woody Allen, the folksiness of Garrison Keillor, and the absurdist vision of Dave Barry, Gene Weingarten conjures up a hilarious prescription for the hypochondriac that lurks inside all of us.Gene Weingarten is a nationally syndicated humor columnist and a Pulitzer Prize–winning staff writer forThe Washington Post. He lives in Washington, DC.

Dave Barry is the author of more bestsellers than you can count on two hands, including Lessons From Lucy,Dave Barry’s Complete Guide to Guys, Dave Barry Turns 40, and Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up. A wildly popular syndicated columnist best known for his booger jokes, Barry won the 1988 Pulitzer Prize for commentary. He lives in Miami.Chapter One: Are You a Hypochondriac?

We must begin by abandoning antiquated, stigmatizing notions about the hypochondriac, a person who imagines himself afflicted by disease. Like alcoholism, hypochondria is not the hypochondriac's fault, or a moral weakness, but a disease.

Hmm.

To hypochondriacs, I offer reassurance: We are no longer living in an era when every little symptom signaled the onset of some dreadful condition with a goofy name, like consumption or whooping cough or St. Vitus's dl£*