Saying No to Say Yes: Everyday Boundaries and Pastoral Excellence [Hardcover]

This book explores the difficulties clergy face when they attempt to say no by setting effective boundaries in order to say yes to the life-giving call of ministry. It illustrates the benefits of good boundaries, even as it traces the legacy of denominational boundary trainings in the wake of the public clergy sexual misconduct crisis. Devor and Olsen supplement anecdotes from their experience leading boundary trainings with an examination of clergy/congregation dynamics through the lenses of both self-psychology and family systems theoryelucidating how some obstacles to effective boundary setting are caused by innate personality tendencies that are exacerbated by a stressful church environment. A perfect storm occurs when clergy vulnerabilities and systemic congregational anxiety interact, leading to burn-out and boundary problems which hinder pastoral excellence.

Readers will find both practice questions to assist them in a deeper assessment of personal and systemic obstacles as well as strategies for setting boundaries, creating the space needed to pursue excellence in ministry.

David C. Olsenis executive director of the Samaritan Counseling Center of the Capital Region and an adjunct faculty member of the Sage Graduate School.

Nancy G. Devor is senior staff psychologist at the Danielsen Institute at Boston University.

Clergy sexual misconduct gets the most attention when boundary violations are discussed. Olsen and Devor believe that focus gets in the way of addressing the need for other kinds of boundaries that help ministry to flourish. They argue that boundary problems mostly arise when there is confluence between unresolved personal issues on the part of a pastor and high stress in the congregational system itself. Boundary maintenance is needed not only so that pastors dont burn out, but so that congregations can thrive. Pastors may set boundaries that are too rigid, which tends to drive people away. Olsen and Devor recomlã-