Light Through the Crack Life After Loss [Paperback]

Leonard Cohen once wrote in a song: “There is a crack in everything/That’s how the light gets in.” Combining revealing memoir and the inspirational stories of others, Sue Mosteller, the executrix of Henry Nouwen’s literary estate and an active, well-known participant in L’Arche Community, brings to life the meaning of that resonant phrase and illuminates why human weaknesses, the “cracks” in our personalities, are actually the greatest sources of light for the world.Sue Mosteller, C.S.J., the executrix of Henri Nouwen’s literary estate, serves on the board of the Henri Nouwen Society and is an active, well-known participant in L’Arche Community, an international network of faith-based communities for people with developmental difficulties. She lectures around the world, and lives at L’Arche Daybreak Community in Toronto, Canada.Chapter One

CHANGE OF HEART

AUTHOR'S PREAMBLE

Hurt by my friend Bruno, I was pained and furious. From my grief, I thought, "How did we get to this place in our relationship? After all we've shared, can't you see how badly you are hurting me? I can't take it! You're so insensitive. I wonder if I can ever trust you again. I'm dying."

Living in the same community with Bruno made it impossible to withdraw physically, so I pulled back emotionally, closing myself off not only from him but also from his friends and others around me. Blame dominated my inner stream of consciousness. "You've hijacked our mutual project, cutting me out of it. You're plotting to hold on to control. You're turning others against me, and I know you hate me but I don't know why."

I felt the problem physically. High stress precipitated the need for almost constant deep breathing. It was hard to focus, and work became a real task. I watched mindless TV, and I overate so that my full body lost its dynamism. As time went on and the rift between Bruno anlc*