Still Waters [Paperback]

Clutching her pink trunk filled with the relics of a lost childhood, twelve-year-old Jenny steps off a bus in Reno and into the wide-open future. Separated from her brother, Bryan, and passed from caretaker to caretaker, Jenny endures as she always has: by following the inner compass of the survivor. But when Bryan chooses a tragic destiny, Jenny must at last confront the secrets and lies that have held her prisoner for years. Embarking on a search for answers, the adult Jenny discovers that the past cannot be locked away -- even when unraveling one's own anger and pain seems impossible. Now, in the warmth of her marriage and in the eyes of her child, Jennifer finds her own miracles. A hardened heart learns to love. A damaged soul finds peace. And life, once merely a matter of survival, becomes rich with the joys of truly living.Chapter One: Reno, Nevada May 1975

The bus pulls into the Reno terminal and I hold the dirty duffel bag in my lap. People stand on the sidewalk and all the faces are just faces with eyes that don't look for me.

Inside my chest is a heavy alone feeling. Maybe no one will be here for me. I get off the bus and look around and my eyes stop on Grandpa Ed, Daddy's daddy.

There she is, Grandpa yells.

I squeeze my fingers around the bag strap and walk until we are face to face, me small, him tall. Grandpa has his hands fisted on his hips like he has something to say but he just looks at me and shakes his head.

Well, give your old Grandpa a hug, he says, kneeling down, arms wide.

I drop my bag and hug around his neck, the smell of coffee mixed with peppermint. He's just like I remember -- round cheeks, wide nose, white hair, and bushy white eyebrows. Grandpa laughs deep and warm against my face and stops hugging first.

My goodness, he says, hands on the top of my shoulders, holding me back, you're a young lady now.

My throat hurts, a lumpy kind of hurt and I smile and nod since I ls-